Knock-knock... Who's there? GOD...

This is it... I thought it was the end for everything...
The NMAT result arrived last tuesday... My granny gave it to me immediately when i arrived from school. I was shocked to see the truth... It really was an NMAT envelope with my name on it.
 
I immediately opened the letter and slightly opened the fold. My heart beat's sooo fast, i can't breathe.... I think I'm gonna die when i saw the result...
 
I got 63% rank... (yeah i knoe, i used to hide my grade because it's fuckin low, but now, who cares?)
 
Didn't even passed the UST cut-off! Which is 65% rank...
 
This is the second omen... Am i really for medicine? Well, my first omen was to turn down medicine... and this second omen?
 
Well, at first, I really can't believe what I saw... I thought it wasn't my grade. There were a lot of things running in my mind at that moment. Things like maybe they wrote it wrong or maybe they accidentally exchanged my grade with another applicant and so on... Pathetic... I need to accept the fact that I only got 63%!
 
So, i turned down medicine for the first time... I believe God has other plans for me, maybe He wanted me to be just a medical technologist, To be a successful medical technologist.
 
I told my friends about my NMAT grade and they were also shocked...
I also opened this topic with my friends and they told me that it's just an after effect or feeling because i got a low NMAT grade. I never agreed because I really don't feel bad about it. I was shocked to see the result but honestly, no bad feelings... i just don't want to show my grades because it's too low... I'm too shy to reveal it...
 
I'm so into medicine, it's my dream ever since i was born, but medicine doesn't want me. Maybe God doesn't want me to be a doctor... He wants me to help sick patients but maybe in another way, like being a medtech.
 
My friends are still encouraging me of taking up medicine after medtech. They said, maybe it's just a trial or so. "Maybe God wants you to exert more effort" sabi ni Aaron --> yeah well, i didn't took much effort in taking NMAT. i didn't enrolled myself in a review center not even did i self-reviewed... hehe... They said I should take 2. There would be an NMAT exam again this coming April...
 
not until a while ago... It came into my mind that maybe, it was God's knock on me... because lately or this semester, i have no spiritual life... i mean, seldom did I have time with Him, to talk and praise Him... Well, busy life can really lead to an aetheistic life... I have no God for almost half year already... It could not be the omen... It was between me and Him... Our relationship...
 
Like i said before, I was born to become a doctor, I believe this is God's plan for me, not just as a medical technologist... Why am i sooo into medicine if it's not really for me? Sabi nga ni bro Ken, "We make our own destiny, if we really want it, we should try and try harder" He even gave the Wright brothers as an example to that... hahaha... I just need more effort for this and of course Him all through these struggles... I should take consideration that it was a knock from God. One more thing, Liezel told me that if medicine is what i really want, then i would probably regret it for the rest of my life if im not gonna take the oppurtunity... Kailan pa daw ako mag-med? kung matanda na ko at na-realized kong i should have taken medicine? hahaha... She also added that as much as possible, tuloy-tuloy na kasi, it would be a waste of time if mag-skip pa ng a year or so...
 
My friends all have a point... Thank you...
 
"James, why have you forsaken me?" ---> maybe this was God's knock!
 
I need to take that next NMAT exam... I need to review in a review center... and I need Him.
 
Refresh! I need a new life... How? How can i do that with my busy schedule? Well, kaya ko 'to! dba? hehehe...
 
***
 
Bye for now! Sleep na ko, alis pa B ko bukas e... uwi siya pangasinan... er... mawnin! big HUG~!

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