i realized that i should go home and be with my loving and understanding parents, family, this coming christmas break. i tole my mom everything (the prob etc.) and i was like crying and all that, i guess she was too, i can't tell her everything on the phone so we texted. the text messages were like soo ma-drama and all that but i guess it's a good thing, she's my mom you knoe, and i love her and also my dad and siblings... naku! neway, we said our sorry to each other blah blah... of course i don't hafta go with the details... basta, i learned my lessons and i hope they did too! eryt? of course they should... hehehe...

neway, my fish patrick (i never mentioned it before, i have this fighting fish named patrick, taken from patrick star of spongebob square-pants) almost died. his house had this crack at the buttom, and i didn't notice it till the next day... i think it cracked when i cleaned it. so buti na lang, i noticed it in the morning because i have a night duty starting afternoon that day, so i rushed to buy a new one... yun! hehehe...

so finally, yes another finally, im quitting... to burn. i'll soon live a healthy lifestyle (clean living daw)... i dunno, but ill try hard to make it work, no nics, no meat(fish-accepted), no sodas, and ill try to quit coffee too... if ever, pure coffee, no creams and just a little sugar. ano pa ba? er basta i should, look! im already 20 and im already old... i should start living healthy... eyryt? hehehe... i knoe im such a loser. so what?

im reading: this milan kundera novel "the unbearable lightness of being"... im having a hard time understanding it but i will finish it... kahit next year pa! hahaha...

our defense was moved! yeah! t'will be on december 20! and after that, christmas party at philippine heart center, after the christmas party, paskuhan sa uste!

katangahan sa buhay...

i realized that for the past month, i've been crying almost everyday. i'm such a cry baby... and now all those bullshit thesis, internship and med interview e dumadagdag pa... i dunno, i think im insane or im just missing something. what is my fucking problem? im going to medicine but i don't knoe how im going to do it, how am i going to study such a stressful course if i don't have any support and paraphernalia. what will you do if the things you want for yourself are impede by your parents? what if you don't have a choice? i mean any choice you want to choose... would you cry like me? what if you were not raised to complain or protest to your parents? what would you do?

maybe im selfish that's why... maybe because im a brat.

my friends are busy now... how come? bakit ngayon pa?

Mga solusyon (siguro):

  • i will not go to medicine na lang siguro, i will find a jod after school and live independently
  • wag umasa sa magulang
  • keep myself busy especially when alone
  • matutong sumagot sa magulang lalo na pag alam mong tama
  • tulungan ang sarili para maibalik ang relasyon sa magulang
  • stop being a maudlin
  • wag mag-paka-brat

i hate to see you go...

im bad. everything... in any aspect... i might not go home to pangasinan this coming christmas, eventhough i have this 7-straight-days break... i don't want to do it but i think it's the best thing to do... everything that happened this month sucked! i don't knoe but it really was sucky... i hope before it ends, everything will be back to normal... at least into normal... i miss my two buddies... now it sucks more...

sucky events:( i hate to do this but in order to let go pls give me a chance to recall everything that made this month sucks!)

  • somebody's shit-using my email.
  • i think my dad hates me. (according to my mom)
  • i think i hate my dad.
  • i am broke. (whatever is you're thinking, YES)
  • a VERY demanding and SOOOO inconsiderate thesis-mate.

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