at least i'm not a virgin!

Death visited me a while ago. It's ridiculous I know but I think it’s really funny because I'm thinking such things about me, that I'm going to die... Well, I think I'm sick and I haven't been to a doctor ever since I started experiencing what we call the symptoms?... I would most likely go visit a doctor next week together with my lola who will also be having her monthly check-up in Baguio City.

Initial diagnosis? Esophageal reflux. Haha. When I woke up this morning, well, it was almost afternoon because I got out of bed at around 11am, I almost fell down to the floor because I got dizzy. Until now, there’s still this feeling of faintness while typing this post. I thought maybe I was just hungry but after eating my brunch, I’m still dizzy. What is wrong with me? I think something terribly bad; a very dreadful disease is with me. I just don’t know what... It could be about my lungs that affect my breathing and all that because sometimes I have dyspnea, which could involve the oxygen supply to my brain that’s why I feel dizzy. Haha... Or the heart, the cardiovascular perhaps, I could be hypertensive. Or the brain... am I having a slow step of brain damage? LOL... well, I should be scared now... the fact that I’m only turning 22, a medical student... I could die not knowing anything about how I would die and i don’t want that to happen. What if I die today? I’ll be missing a lot of things.

Let’s write ‘em down:
• I will not be able to read the last book of the Harry Potter, I’d be truly wondering forever on the other side of life what really happened to that 7th year of Harry at Hogwarts.
• I wouldn’t be able to watch the Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix Movie! At least I have read it and the book’s probably better than the movie, eryt? It’s always like that... anyway, the 5th book wasn’t even an interesting year of Harry.
• I wouldn’t be able to help cure the poor. Of course, if i die now, I can’t finish my dream of becoming a physician. I’m still an incoming 2nd year medical student and if I die now, I wouldn’t even able to reach 2nd year... very tragic.
• I wouldn’t be able to finish the books I’ve stopped reading for awhile due to many reasons. One of those books is the “Unbearable Lightness of Being”. I’ve started the book a hundred million times but i could not read it ‘till the end because it’s very hard to read. Haha.
• I wouldn’t be able to see our country change from a 3rd world into a 4th maybe?
• I wouldn’t be able to have a child... It’s been my desire to have my own child since I reached my 20’s. Of course i can’t do that without my partner of love, eryt? Reason of wanting a child? I want my kid/s to be just like a “barkada” to me when they grow up. Like my parents, i was born when my mom was 18 and my dad’s 19 so they were still young at that time so now, my parents treat us like brothers and sisters because the age difference isn’t too big. Of course, I can’t get rid of the fact that they’re still my parents and I’m still their child. Now i have to choose: medicine or a baby? I can’t have them both, if I choose to have a baby, my parent’s wouldn’t support me then in taking up medicine, so i just can’t choose to have a baby now.
• I wouldn’t be able to travel to at least every part of the Philippines. I haven’t been to Boracay yet nor Puerto Princessa. Sad...
• I wouldn’t be able to have my own car to drive! It’s been my desire to have one but my parents won’t instil. I’ve been borrowing my dad’s and my lolo’s car which are too big for me to use. I dunno why they wouldn’t give me one and be responsible to it. Dba? I have a hypothesis that maybe they were thinking that i’ll be always out there in those gimik places when i have my own car already. But hey! It’s useful to use when i go to school dba? Because it’s not very practical now going to school in manila without a car. Pft! Besides, QC is very far from Manila. Haha. My dad said, just wait until I graduate. Tsk!
• Hwat! Yes, i wouldn’t be able to taste that krispy donut in Global City! Yes, Krispy Kreme. I’ve been waiting for that donut ever since Oprah reveled it’s one of her favourite things. It’s been exclusively sold in the US but last year, they brought their glazy doughnuts over here! Unfortunately, I haven’t tried it yet. Got no time to go to that very far-flung place called Global City. Hehehe.
• My far away relatives! Our cousins on my dad’s side are now all abroad, into different places. We were the only ones stuck in this degrading county. Oh, i hate to say that but it’s the fact, eryt? I wanted to visit all my relatives before I die.
• My friends! Oh I got huge sets. Quantity and Quality speaking.
• Movies: The Simpsons & Shrek3.
• I wouldn’t be able to build my own house. A simple, home sweet home. Hahaha.. corny!
• Family. Of course I will...

Oh I can’t think of anything else that i’ll miss. But if I die today, I wouldn’t probably be thinking about these things already because I’m dead! Haha...

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