Breakup is painful because...

Why breakup is painful? I have read very good items for that matter. I only had 1 serious relationship in my life and I admit that I wasn’t really a good partner not until maybe the next time that I will have. Anyway, I will not talk about my issues right now but I am going to share my learning and ideas why breakup is very painful and of course would also try to recommend an advice on how to somehow lessen or avoid the pain.

Breakup is painful because we make plans with our partner. I think that is the main reason why every breakup really hurt. Most of the time we enter in a relationship because we want to share our love, we need be loved and we want to be happy. When we reach this goal; love and happiness with our partner, the relationship then becomes more or less boring, unless there are still unfulfilled happiness and love between the two. Fulfilled happiness and love doesn’t accept any more room for love and happiness so plans will then enter into the relationship; we think or prepare for the future, make long-term goals, etc. We forget the fact that everything is temporary in life, everything will end at some point, that there’s no such thing as forever. It’s an accepted fact that letting go or detachment is a normal situation and sometimes is a very good thing to do, but then why does it hurt so much? It is because of the unfulfilled plans. As I have stated a while ago, as we go along with our relationship, we make plans for the relationship and then if unfortunately it’s really the time that we have to let go of our partner, it would be very painful because we still have a lot of expectations from that relationship and from our partners; there are still unfulfilled agendas so everything falls down around us. When we are in a relationship, we are happy looking forward into our plans with our partner; we see things differently, it’s flawless and orgasmic. This will make the relationship more interesting and happy, but like what I have said, thing’s aren’t permanent in life, people come and go, people live and die, so if our partner leaves us, unfulfilled happiness and love will make us sad or hurt. The ultimate goal of a relationship is not that it should last forever but instead the goal is that we share happy and beautiful times together, that we inspire each other, give and take of love, and that we learn and share new things with our partner.

A few people believe that the reason why breakup hurts so much is due to the dissipated emotional investment and some however are hurt because of the good memories with their partner that haunts them every time they reminisce these cherishing memoirs. In a relationship, we invest our emotions and love not for us but for our partner. Many of us invest for ourselves and this is a wrong notion. How can you love a person if the emotion just keeps on coming back to you? You share what you have to others; you invest for others and not for yourself. Reminiscing past relationships based from experience is not hurting at all, it’s more ideal to recollect things with your ex-partner especially the good times.

So what should we do in order to avoid this situation?

When you are in a relationship, try to be satisfied with the happiness and love that you get everyday, do not make futuristic and unrealistic happiness because future is unpredictable, anything can happen, bad or wrong. In other words, if you don’t see it coming, avoid it.

Learn how to be a little detached. Don’t make your self very attached to a person or to anything. Everything in this world is temporary. This idea is very much practiced by many of us when it comes to material things but we forget this concept when it comes to relationships.

Invest your emotions for your partner and not for your self.

Reminisce the good old times with your ex-lovers and not the bad ones. It’s more ideal to think that there are good or even great people who came into your life.

Owkay, these are just some advices okay? I also think that not everyone will agree with what I have written but I just want to share, just keep your minds open. Hehehe...

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