It’s already morning and I am still awake. After my rant and rave, I am back to normal. After all that have been said, I am okay again. Why? I dunno; maybe because of blogging or most probably because of the people’s support. I would like to say sorry if I was misunderstood by the many. My point was clear enough although I believe that the difficulty that had happened was in terms of communication.
My intention here is more on saying sorry for those who considered and still considers me as pain in the ass. Pain in the ass as in maybe we have a clash between certain beliefs. I also want to clarify some matters concerning about the recent mix-up.
Being busy I believe was not an issue. I also never believe that there is such thing as “being busy”. We are all given 24 hours each day, and if a person is busy, why is it that others are not? I believe that it depends on what we prioritize. In our case as medical students, if you prioritize pharmacology than medicine, obviously you would give more attention to pharmacology. You cannot say you are busy with pharmacology, but instead you prioritize pharmacology. Priorities in life is different from one person to the other just like dharma, people have different ways of living life. I learned that since we have different priorities, one must respect other’s priorities and I violated that so I am sorry with regards to that. But since it concerns a group, I believe too that one must show his/her concern to the group if he/she knows that the members of the group might be in trouble.
Deleting a post in my blog is against my principle. Many know that my blog’s been running for years already. There have been a lot of good and bad experiences that were written and shared in my blog. Posting in my blog is a way for me to relieve all sorts of energy, whether good or bad. When I am happy or even if like I am insane (like my previous post), I also write these things in my blog. And if I am back to sanity, I can assure you that it’s the real me again. My blog serves as a record of almost all the things that I have learned so far in my life. Another reason why I don’t delete a post in my blog is due to the reason that I stand firm on what I think, believe and what I say is right. I am a kind of person who will make sure that I am right before sharing it to the others, so as you can notice, most of the time when a classmate will ask me something for example with regards to quizzes or exams, if I am not sure with my answer, I would rather resort to saying “I don’t know” than sharing what might be wrong. And if I delete a post in my blog, do you think that’s still standing firmly on my beliefs? No.
If you will read my blog (as in the whole thing), when my post is about me being upset, you will notice that I don’t include or indicate a name. I believe that if you read something that hit you sooo hard, then that is guilt. If you feel like you are the one being stated, that’s your fault; it means you are the one responsible for my insanity. I don’t intentionally do this, I just post my piece and who knows who would be able to read about it.
Again, I am sorry for the tension that I brought to the group and I am sorry for clarifying certain things through writing another blog about it. I hope everything will be back to normal soon.