Defying the original plan...

There's no such thing as right or wrong decisions... All I know is that I can choose from either of the two and face the consequences.

Life here in the United States of A is not pure pleasure and sureness of state of steadiness. It is not perfect in here. People face a lot of difficulties which I can say is pretty much the same in my third world country. The only difference is the economy.

Before I got this opportunity to visit my relatives, my thoughts about working here is very thin and is not really on my list of future plans. If ever I want to work somewhere else but Philippines, I like it to be near my home where I feel a lot safer and freer. Singapore would be nice as well as Australia.

16 hours of travel time is a no joke to see my family when I miss them so badly and so US of A WAS actually my last resort. Besides, taking 4 expensive and unpredictable exams so that I can practice my long time dream as a doctor here in the US would be a tough thing to consider.

Then my options became wider and incomprehensible... I now consider moving here after I graduate. I am like my dad... Unpredictable... I am now thinking of taking the first two exams soon. Australia has been my first choice of the countries where I can actually move into and live to the fullest but now, it's either there or here.

I've never been to Australia but based on reliable sources, it's a pretty place. I consider it living there because it's near the Philippines, their economy's not bad, the demand for physicians is apparent and it's not over rated. But i never considered the fact that my family will soon move here in the US and so now... what's the point of living in Australia if sooner or later my family's in the US? Well, I can say that at least they can visit me in Australia and I can visit them here too which is still cool. But still... Did you get the point?

There are a lot of factors to consider... As of now, everything's still a mess. I am not confused... of/or trying to look for my real purpose in life. So far I know my purpose but where and to whom should benefit from this?

Owell, this is probably just an effect from my trip to Chicago where I literally and really enjoyed the company of my cousins. Me and my cousin Brian is now sadly wishing for more time in Chicago. It's nice being with cool relatives, not to mention my aunts and uncles with apparent and intact Filipino practices. There were foods everywhere and they are really very sweet and accommodating. I am tired, but in a good way... I am tired because I had fun... Seriously...

I will be back in the Philippines soon! I miss my family so badly! I will be back to school again... 2 more years in school that is and I am almost done... Almost but technically medicine has no end for us; we are in a continuous state of studying... if you know what I mean... And that's one of the reasons why I love it so much.

Subconsciously but now consciously my heart is happy here so surely I will come back. When? I don't know...

***
Pictures are now posted in my Multiply, you can access it by clicking HERE!

Beer Pong? Check THIS out!

Denial...

I think I did something terribly wrong to a friend. I mean it's not literally my own fault per se, I admit I did something really stupid and nao it's haunting me.

What happened which I will not tell you exactly makes me feel so small. It was so wrong. I feel so small in a sense that I think it's intolerable and unforgivable. Do you knoe the feeling when people judge you for something you stupidly done and immediately you feel like shrinking at that very same moment? That's exactly what I am going through right nao... It sucks!

Some might consider it right but majority will say no. And that made it more confusing and disturbing.

In the back of my mind, there's something that tells me it was okay but in reality it's not. I have this weakness which sinks me from being that good boy everybody knows. It is deeper beyond the things that I actually show. This weakness altho is common is also tolerable; proves the fact that I am really an impatient ass!

This friend of mine thinks that what happened was okay. But it bothers me this much to post it in here to vent the feeling of anxiety and keenness. I didn't want it to happen but it did and it was great!

Nao GREAT was it! Yeah great but messy. See? Like Jackson Pollock's paintings. It's a wonderful mess... I hope I am making some sense.

We talked and tried to fix things up but it became worse. It's getting more complicated and alarming for me. I am screwed and lamed...

So there you go! The previous post's title's a lie. I am damaged. I need an overhaul. Crap!

I hope I can figure this thing out soon. I don't like what I am feeling. I want to solve this case and clear things up. Fix me!!!

Ciao!

Damaged? Not!

The previous typhoon that struck the Philippines brought devastating damages not to mention, one of its victims is our family SUV. Its strong winds were able to cut a tree off, fell over and wrecked our SUV.

I was shocked to hear that our car was wrecked. I knoe the insurance company will pay for it but I am still worried. Why such damage? It was so harsh... I can't believe it was really that strong. I am thinking this might be the end of the world... Signs of the end of the age right...? Did it occur to you to question the possibility of the end and wonder why there's occurence of consecutive alarming disasters? High magnitude earthquake in China, cyclone in Myanmar and this typhoon in Philippines. What's next?!

People here are also wondering why it's still freaking cold in here at this time of the year... Summer should have started already in this part of the world but why is it still cold?

What's going on to the world?

But I am not questioning Cook's victory over Archulets... For me he's really better. I mean he's talented and creative. He likes to reinvent music which is an ok ok ok... Archuleta did not win but that doesn't mean he will not become successful... American Idol is just a front. The boy also has talents. Both are good contestants, they showed good performances and I think they're humble individuals, it's just that it can never be tie. Technically, they are both winners! Look, they're popular and apparently getting more popular! Have you seen their Guitar Hero TV ad? And the Ford Escape? If I were them, I will not ask for more. Owell, it's really a good season for AI! Great show!

Today, we went to Niagara Falls and it was freaking awesome. I can say that it is one of the best places I've visited here... What's cooler than being just a few meters close to Canada!? Did I mention that I wasn't able to get a permit to cross the border to Canada? It's true I wasn't able to get it for reasons of terrorism and TB. Hehehe... I am kidding. I didn't get a permit because the moment I submitted my papers for evaluation, the letter of invitation from my aunt in Canada didn't arrive yet so, no evidence of support of my stay there. Owell, there's always a next time... right? No hard feelings... But I miss my cousins there...

Hay, sooo tired! I should go to sleep nao... Good night earthlings!

Pictures to be posted soon! Multiply's giving me a headache nao...

US based realizations...

I am not getting any bigger (fatter) because many believe that food servings here are too big that you will gain excessively upon continuous consumption. But ion't think it's true. I think that a lot of food in here tastes like plastic that I cannot just swallow. Yes the servings are huge but the taste? I don't know, maybe I'm just used to Filipino foods where there's "sabaw" and has an oriental taste. I am not saying that all of their foods here are useless or inadequate for my Filipino tongue because there are still a few pretty good stuff that can be tolerated like eating in Golden Corral which is a buffet resto, but yeah nothing beats an authentic Filipino dish. Like last night, my cousin and I went out to eat dinner, there's no Filipino resto here so I was looking for a Thai resto so that I can order Tom Yum which is like a Thai version of "Sinigang"; we found a Thai resto but their Tom Yum's all consumed! So unlucky and so I ended up eating Chix Teriyaki instead.

So I am not getting any bigger. Everytime we eat outside, I just can't finish the whole thing.

The first time I got the chance to sneak into their bars or clubs with my 2 lady cousins and their Fil-Swedish friend, I was mesmerized by the huge crowd wherein every corner of the room's full of kissing and canoodling couples. Even if you don't stare directly, my peripheral views tell me what they're doing. And you knoe how small I am right? I am only 5'4.5" so I was like a kid inside the bar. They didn't checked my ID tho but everytime someone looks at me, the look in their eyes tell me something like:

What are you doing here? Aren't you supposed to be in bed nao?

Since bar "hard" drinks are too expensive in this country, what my cousins Christine and Karla and their friend Marianne do is that they drink in her apartment first until they get tipsy or even too drunk to walk before they go bar hopping. In her apartment I met Marianne's hypo-allergenic dog Ella who loves to play catch the ball. Marianne lives in an apartment in downtown (Cleveland) so we just hafta walk to reach the clubbing strip of Cleveland. We hopped from one bar to another and as far as I could remember we've been through 3 bars... I met a lot of very good and clever people, mostly from other countries studying here as college scholars.

In this state of the US, rarely you will see a Filipino. Would you believe that I haven't seen one yet? A pure one that is. But they are very diverse in here; Iraqis, Egyptians, Indians, Swedish, Germans and a lot more.

I just saw 2 groups of Filipinos when we were in Busch Gardens in Virginia and the other is while looking at the beautiful Diamond of Hope (Hope Diamond?) in Smithsonian Museum in Washington D.C. ... but none here in Ohio.

Unlike in California where it's like Philippines, like every corner there's a Filipino, it is not the same in here... But did you notice how Filipinos compete with each others in California?

"Pataasan ng ihi" as they call 'em.

They want to show to other Filipinos that they're rich and accomplished! They work overtime so just they can buy big houses and fancy cars. Where there are many Filipinos, they tend to become show-off.

What I also noticed here is that Filipinos who were born and raised here compared to those who were born and raised in the Philippines and just came over here are more kind, simple and humble. I don't knoe if some of you who had the chance to go here noticed it, but I did.

Anyway, last weekend we visited the Isidro clan in Virginia Beach which is a really nice place. Filipino tradition is still very apparent into their family. I like how my aunts there talk to and teach their kids to speak the native language. My cousin Brian and Christine were both born and raised here in Ohio and my aunt wasn't able to teach them how to speak Tagalog for she thought that they might get confused, but my cousin said it would have been nice if they have taught her the dialect because a kid will never get confused, they just absorb everything. She has a point.

Aryt, hafta end this entry nao... Imma do sumthing...

Until next time! More realization blah blahs... Hehehe... Good day Earthlings!

BTW, pictures are nao posted in HERE! You might want to... you knoe, check them. LOL.

Diary-yah!

I'm having a bad diarrhea since yesterday so I'm stuck in the house particularly on the couch just watching TFC and on the toilet bowl alternately. I knoe eryt? TFC?! Okay, let me just tell everyone that I miss the Philippines nao aryt? So eventhough cable TVs here got tons of channels (even HD channels, I'm amazed!), I'm watching TFC! It's not yet a week since I got here and I'm already missing that 3rd world country. Sad...

I got a new favorite tho, and guess what it is...

Chipotle!

It's a mexican fastfood and we don't have it there in the Philippines. It's better than Taco Bell I swear! But they don't have Taco Bell's Cinnamon Twist which is my favorite too. I tried their Burrito Bol (Bowl) and it's awesome. You can choose either chicken, steak, carnitas, barbacoa or vegetarian and can add salsas, cheese, lettuce, rice, and a lot more. It's really and delicious and sulit!

Anyways, Crocker Park is like Ohio's version of the Bonifacio High Street in the Philippines but it's far much better. Unfortunately when we got there, rain poured and so we haven't enjoyed the beautiful place so much. I would definitely ask my cousin to drive me back again there soon; I must have photos taken from there!

Today, we went to Detroit, Michigan to play Casino. It's like a 3-hour drive from here which they consider to be near already. Their City's not as big as Chicago or New York, it's a little bit bigger than Cleveland. When we talk about Casinos, I knoe Las Vegas always comes immediately in our minds but since it will take us days just to get there through driving, Detroit is a good resort.

We're going to Virginia on Friday and we'll be staying there for 4 days.

Oh gawd, I'm getting sick of traveling and I am still an idiot regarding to their time, 8:30pm and the sun's still up. Owell, I feel weak... I hate this diarrhea...

I need to rest! Good day earthlings!

I am not gone, I am just away...

You might be wondering what happened to me... Owell, I bet not...

Okay, I'm here nao at North Royalton, Ohio and so far I am enjoying my time here with my cousins.

My flight was exhausting and I was disgusted by Japanese passengers wherein one of them even sat on my seat. They can't understand and speak English so I really had a bad time dealing with them. Good thing they were all gone by the time we reached Nagoya. My travel went longer than expected. Why? Because my flight from Manila to Japan (stop-over) was delayed. We were supposed to be taking off at around 6:30AM but an airplane part was detected to be not working before we were to go. Don't ask me what part of the plane was defective because the pilot actually explained to us about it but I really didn't care.

So we took off at around 9:30 and the good thing was, while waiting for the broken plane to be fixed the airline gave us free breakfast so it wasn't that bad after all.

Since we were 3 hours delayed, i was left by my connecting flight plane from Detroit to Cleveland so Northwest re-booked me to a new flight schedule which was 30 minutes after my arrival time in Detroit. Whew! Do you know how big their airport in Detroit is? So huge that they even have tunnels where passengers can walk through to other gates. Okay, so they let me run like mad in the airport... I was running even in the conveyors. LOL. Just imagine how it all happened.

When I arrived here at around 6:00PM, it was raining cats and dogs, and it's so freaking cold. It's spring nao in here so everybody loves the weather but for me, it's still like winter. It's too cold to consider it as spring. LOL. But I really like it here because they live in the Suburb... So it's not really city-like but more of like really a suitable place to live. It's very calm and every house is huge and nice. I really like it here. So my thoughts about not living and working here in the future got me re-think again... Hehehe... Hmmm... I might consider nao working here soon.

We had dinner in AppleBee's (was it called Apple Bee? not so sure *thanks Em Dy for the correction) and they serve really scrumptious food that are overly large! Hehehe, I wasn't able to finish my meal so I just took them home, it's still in the fridge by the way. Then my cousin Karla invited me to watch Iron Man. For the longest time, I again had the chance to see a movie in the theater... And it happened here in Ohio. I'm such a loser... but not so bad loser, eryt. The movie was good. I didn't expect it to be really good; and it's also funny. It's not stupid-funny but yeah it's funny, just watch it. Hehehe...

Then me and my cousin Christine when she got home from a party talked until 3AM about sorta lotsa stuff, I am still adjusting to their time so the conversation went really long. I woke up today at around 3PM then we headed to Kent University regarding details about me transfering. LOL, I am just kidding. I went to see another cousin, Brian and his bitch Maxie. He'll be home next week after his final exams.

Owell, that's all for nao, I'm nao working on my papers so that I can cross the border to Canada. I am very excited about that. And BTW, no pictures yet, the desktop PC here doesn't have a memory card reader so I can't upload pictures yet; I should have brought my camera connector. Owell...

OBTW again, i just found out that Grey's Anatomy's back since last week. Good huh?

Bye for nao earthlings! I'll keep everyone posted.

My friend Needs Your Help.

I had a co-intern who has an End Stage Renal Failure.

She was a medtech co-intern at The AFP Medical Center in V.Luna. Although she was not a schoolmate, we became friends because we had the same schedule (Group 3) and she became the group's very reliable and receptive leader.

I actually don't knoe how it all happened. Many years back, about 3 years ago, I got an SMS from her asking for prayers and support because she's dialyzing. At that time, I wasn't able to ask her what really happened; why was it so sudden and what led her into acquiring such condition. Maybe at that time I was too shy to ask details and I was just there to sympathize.

She wasn't able to take the medtech board exam therefore she cannot work; she was lamed by her sickness. She's dialyzing twice a week and is taking a lot medications. She's nao experiencing almost all the possible complications of renal failure like aneurysm.

I feel her situation because my Granny who just died last January had the same case except that it was secondary to her diabetes. It's a tough condition. Every dialysis session makes her tired. It like sucks every energy that she has. It wasn't a good scene everytime I see my Granny after her dialysis. She looks so drained and weak, it seems like it's not making any good for her. So, I knoe she's also experiencing the same thing.

She wants to undergo kidney transplant but as we all knoe, it is an expensive procedure, the queue for a possible transplant's too long and an organ match is also a predictable problem.

She's a very strong woman, and I knoe that based from her record as our group leader during our internship. She's really into taking good control over the group's problems and performances. Apparently, eventhough she's now into a difficult situation, she remains strong and focused. She's very hopeful that one day her new kidney will come.

Last week, I received an SMS from her selling a car. My immediate thought was like,

Is she getting a kidney? They're selling their car for her to have a kidney transplant!

I didn't reply, besides I am not interested in buying a car.

After a few days, I received another message from her that shocked me,

Gud PM guys! Kakapalan ko na mukha ko guys if this is the only way that i could extend my life. Wala na kasi kaming mapagkunan ng funds para ma-support ang sakit ko. My dialysis costs 3750 per session tapos twice a week pa yun. Mga meds ko naman cost 2500 plus every week. We're really broke and lahat ng pwedeng lapitan, nalapitan na namin. Hihingi sana ako ng tulong sa inyo, kahit magkano lang na kaya ninyong itulong sa aking would be very helpful. Pasensya na kayo. Alam kong pinaghihirapan ninyo ang pera ninyo pero I am really incapable to work right now. Yung dad ko naman somehow abandoned me na kaya mom ko na lang ang katulong ko sa pag-support ng sakit ko eh unemployed na rin siya. If you can send help, please paki-deposit na lang po sa BPI account number 3219-0027-09, account name GENNEVIE BAYBAYAN. Cousin ko po yun. Tapos paki-text po sa akin kung magkano na-send ninyo para ma-confirm ko kasi nakigamit lang ako ng ATM. Nakakahiya po sa inyo pero right now, kapag inuna ko po hiya ko, baka hindi na ako tumagal. Thank you po in advance. God Bless po.

Okay, so basically, she needs money to support her medical needs. Okay, Ion't normally do this in my blog, this is actually the first one. I really feel that she really deserves a chance, to live longer and to finally find a kidney that will suit her. She's very young and I believe that when her new kidney's up, it will make her a new person, a productive individual. My Granny didn't have a transplant, she's way too old for a new kidney and to have an operation but my friend here I think really needs a new kidney because it will benefit her a lot.  Okay, I am not only asking for your financial support but also of course for your prayers.

If you have an extra cash to share, It would be of great help no matter how much it would be.

BPI Account Number: 3219-0027-09
Account Name: Gennevie Baybayan

If you want to talk to her and give her encouragement and support you may call her or SMS her at 09174992679.

Thank you very much!