Denial...

I think I did something terribly wrong to a friend. I mean it's not literally my own fault per se, I admit I did something really stupid and nao it's haunting me.

What happened which I will not tell you exactly makes me feel so small. It was so wrong. I feel so small in a sense that I think it's intolerable and unforgivable. Do you knoe the feeling when people judge you for something you stupidly done and immediately you feel like shrinking at that very same moment? That's exactly what I am going through right nao... It sucks!

Some might consider it right but majority will say no. And that made it more confusing and disturbing.

In the back of my mind, there's something that tells me it was okay but in reality it's not. I have this weakness which sinks me from being that good boy everybody knows. It is deeper beyond the things that I actually show. This weakness altho is common is also tolerable; proves the fact that I am really an impatient ass!

This friend of mine thinks that what happened was okay. But it bothers me this much to post it in here to vent the feeling of anxiety and keenness. I didn't want it to happen but it did and it was great!

Nao GREAT was it! Yeah great but messy. See? Like Jackson Pollock's paintings. It's a wonderful mess... I hope I am making some sense.

We talked and tried to fix things up but it became worse. It's getting more complicated and alarming for me. I am screwed and lamed...

So there you go! The previous post's title's a lie. I am damaged. I need an overhaul. Crap!

I hope I can figure this thing out soon. I don't like what I am feeling. I want to solve this case and clear things up. Fix me!!!

Ciao!

1 remark(s):

tagabukid said...

cryptic. but whatever you're going through, i wish you well, i hope you'll be alright. :D

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