Malate Blues

Last Friday was my first ever visit to the streets of Malate. For me, it's located in a remote and inaccessible location of the metro. I live in Quezon City you knoe, and my city harbors equally amusing gimik places like the strip of Tomas Morato and Eastwood, Libis. So by that, it's just practical to just wander around somewhere near, right?

However, one of my friends celebrated her birthday in Malate last Friday, so I was there for the very first time. I wasn't comfortable walking along the streets because people were kind of look weird and I am sorry but I prototyped Manila to be an unsafe ground especially during gimik nights. People look at you like they want to devour you or something, hold you up and take away everything you have. Even your shoes.

Along M. Adriatico street lies an easy to miss restaurant called Cosa Nostra. Our friend brought us there because she thought it was a nice resto. She was right! I recently found out that the restaurant's name refers to the Mafia and is translated as "Our Thing". Why did they call the restaurant as such? I have no idea. The good thing is that it is indeed a 2 thumbs up resto. The place is so peaceful, vintage interiors, quality and reasonably priced food! There are a lot of food choices as well; pastas, pizzas, salads, baked meals and even steaks and fresh fruit shakes. I can say it's one of my ultimate dining experiences. Not that it's free because it was a birthday treat but really, it's sulit! If you want to bring your date into somewhere you can talk without the worries of spending much, then it's the place to be! Just make sure you make a reservation.

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Inside the very peaceful Cosa Nostra. Pic grabbed from Carlos' multiply.

Despite the not so comfortable location of Malate, there were apparently a lot of people who love the place. Cars all over the parking lots, pedestrians filled up the narrow streets and deafening thuds of musical beats. It's an ultimate gimik experience and it felt awesome walking into the bright lights. Even though I was enjoying the tour, I just can't erase the thought though that something bad might happen.

As we walk along, we ended up bordered by clubs and disco bars popularly visited by the third sex. And out of curiosity, we found ourselves checking some items at Pride Exchange along the corner of Orosa and Nakpil street. Of course we didn't buy anything there; we were just there laughing at some things that are being sold especially the naughty underwears with weird straps and designs of animals. Owell, that's because some of my friends are still morally virgin with regards to these kind of stuff. It made me then realize that the topic of and issues about sex in the Philippines is changing, transcending and evolving into a more liberated nature. We are slowly embracing these certain stuff and practices despite our cultural background. I think Gary Lising first introduced this kind of sex shop cos I first saw a same kind of store which he owns located in Metrowalk.

Owell...

Malate is like a jungle. An elegant jungle. The place might be a little chaotic but there's something about Malate that makes me want to go back. Probably because last Friday, I didn't get the chance to hit the dance floor and show my moves yet. Nyahahaha... Let's wait for that!

Prelude to a Kiss

by Alicia Keys...

Sometimes I feel
Like I don't belong anywhere
And it's gonna take so long
For me to get somewhere
Sometimes I feel
So heavy hearted
But I can't explain
Cuz I'm so guarded

But that's a lonely road to travel
And a heavy load to bare
And it's a long, long way to heaven
But I gotta get there
Can you send an angel?
Can you send me an angel?
Guide me

***

I can so much relate to this song right now... It's like I am caught up everyday trying to keep everything together. Oh I wish there would be no more tomorrow so that I can limit my sorrow.

I once told a friend while we were in a class discussion about autism...

I think it would be great to be an autistic.

Huh? Why?

They live life in their own world. They don't really care what is happening around them. No worries.

8484

Reminds me of a friend when I saw this:

8484

It's 8484 in my counter. Why did I remember him? Because he allegedly accused me of spoiling his most precious unique number combis like 888 or my 8484. Hahaha... Owell, I just want to share.

Owell, I am sorry. But I don't think I was the culprit. I didn't refresh, I told you I did, but it was a joke, besides, why would I refresh your page if WordPress would actually show my comment immediately after clicking the post button, right?

Just admit the fact that you have a lot of readers and they like what you write. So just jot down your thoughts and never empty your tea cup again!

What's the 411?

Good morning! Bad for me.

Gawd, I woke up just now and was supposed to see a patient at 10. I complained about meeting our patient at 7. A patient meeting medical students at 7AM? We're not yet consultants duh... Not even close.

I didn't knoe it was already moved at 10AM today, I was already asleep when they texted me.

Okay hafta leave and be back in the afternoon! Later earthlings!

Ahm okay, I think this is not so much of a low-down information, I just can't think of a title.

Impulse

My brother and I met our parents and two siblings at SM North Edsa a while ago. They just got here from the province for a visit! Gawd, can't they just shop tomorrow?!

And so wandering around the mall, my dad's attention was diverted into this electronic drum set. He's been wanting to buy that kind of thing ever since. He already has a full drum set in the house. His complaint was that the drum set was too loud to play during the night so he wanted something that can be tuned the volume down. Another reason is that, he wants something portable and can be brought from one place to another easily.

Owell, he's not going to buy it. He doesn't have money. It's rainy season, who would actually build their houses during rainy season?

That was what I was thinking. My drummer brother was trying it out, as well as my little sister. They were really enjoying the drums.

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My brother Raje and my sister Kelly-Clarkson-wannabe, Trish.

Then all of a sudden, the store guy was already wrapping the drums and put it in the the bag and its box. I was shocked. I never thought he would actually buy it. He's such an impulsive dad. Hay...

BTW, mom brought me a coffee maker and I made some coffee for everyone. Awesome.

Fantasy is my Defense Mechanism?

I am popular among my friends to be unemotional, stone-hearted and ehem, "schizoid". Some of my posts are too cynical, as they say, to be able to get involved into a relationship; it's like the world is too hostile for me, so be it. But then, I think that this particular meme sent by a friend will speak otherwise. It's been a long time since I've given up writing something about L-O-V-E and anything that involves intimate relationships, not that I am bitter about my previous relationship but it's more of a choice.

Apparently, I find them very hard to answer. Answering these 10 mushy questions' like purging myself. But since the friend who tagged me is very close to my heart, then I would answer it honestly, even if it's against my will. OMG, I swear I will never going to re-read this post... Not again, ever. Enjoy.

1. When was your first kiss and where?
My first kiss happened somewhere in UP Diliman campus. I knoe right? Where the hell in the huge UP grounds? Particularly in front of the Kalayaan dormitory. You might be thinking it's impossible because I never studied in UP, right? But it did. So obviously, it happened sometime during college. I know, I am such a late bloomer and... a retard, I keep on telling that. Oh, you would probably get what particular year it was if you only knoe how to analyze and to connect the dots.

2. When was your first real relationship and how long did it last?
It started from that day of that first kiss. And it lasted for I dunno. It's been on and off. I don't want to count how many months or if it reached a year or even years. Probably a year or two maybe? On and off. It was from the past, I have an anamnestic d/o.

3. What age were you allowed to date?
I dunno, I just started dating when I felt like doing it. I told my parents when she's already my girlfriend and my mom cried. Hahaha, they thought I was going to marry her already when I told them about it. Parents, really... are too worried. They're so lucky, I am still single, up until now. I love you mom!

4. What's the craziest thing you did (for love) when you were a teenager?
Craziest? Ahm, can't think of any, I am not really that romantic and pathetic to do certain crazy stuff. And I am thankful I never was because that would really be humiliating to reminisce again if I kinda did. If ever I find someone who will make me go loco and head over heels then I probably will end up doing crazy stuff. I can't tell yet. If I get there, and I will not tell you, unless another meme like this will show up in my blog again.

5. How long is your longest relationship and what's the secret? 
There's no secret I think. Why would you let a relationship go that far or long if you're not happy about it, right? I think as long as you're still happy with it, just hold on and be happy. If not, then maybe you should think about giving it up. What's the point in staying and holding on into a relationship if in reality you're not actually happy with it right?

6. How long did you date before you decided to settle down? 
Settle down as in marriage? I dunno, I think it should just be spontaneous, if you feel like that person's going to last forever then just go for it. I mean, as of now, I am not thinking about me settling down with someone in the future. If I find that person who I think and believe is the perfect and the right person for me, wherein I can be everything to her, a partner, lover, confidante; like bestfriends, then why can't we be just bestfriends forever? I mean I see a lot of failing marriages and I think that complicates the relationship. Did you realize that bestfriends end up forever? And marriages don't? Because marriage sets in rules and boundaries.

7. How long did you know s/he was the ONE?
Did not. I don't knoe because I am currently not yet with the ONE you're talking about. I will tell you if I met her. Just remind me.

8. Now, at what age will you allow your kid(s) to date? (if and only if I end up having kids)
First, yes I want to have kids. As early as now. And I will allow my kids to date as early as they reach their teens. What's wrong with dating anyway? I think we should not limit our kids to try certain stuff. We've been there, done that, so what? Let's just be fair. To be a good parent, I believe that we should know that at some point they can fall, stumble or simply do mistakes but we as parents should be there to help them get back to their feet. My parents allowed me to drink and try anything. I don't see myself to be in trouble either. I party but not to the point that I do badly in school, I drink but I am not a drunkard, I tried smoking but not now (just in a recent incident, hehehe), I don't do drugs, I don't just have sex casually, I didn't impregnate a woman. I am not proud of myself for not being in trouble or being "ok". I am proud of my parents because I am what I am now.

9. When it comes to your kids dating, will you be a cool parent or a strict parent? 
I will be a cool dad. I mean the more strict you will be, the more they will likely to do crazy stuff. I've seen a lot of teens like that. But then I also wouldn't want to be too relax as a parent. Of course as a parent, I still should make sure that they're doing well. I think good communication between a parent and a child is very important. And that's what I really love about my parents, they allow us to reason out or talk back to them as long as it's in a good way or manner. I see many parents doesn't allow that to their children.

10. What piece of advice can you give to your child when they start dating?
First, just be yourself. Second, don't take it too serious especially during the first few dates. Third, if you find love don't run away from it. Fourth, Don't chase after it either. Lastly, be safe.

***

Now do the tag earthlings!

Monaco, I know you love tags.
Tagabukid, I never saw you did a tag before.
Chyng, it would be interesting to know.
Wanderingcommunter, because you gave your go signal.
Jun, Are you in Adelaide now?

Must come to an end. Nah...

red_light Last Monday, I was too lazy to return to the apartment so I left the house at 11PM. Knapsack on my back, laptop on my hand, I took a cab.

UST, Dapitan via E. rod.

I didn't want to leave yet. But I should. I must be back to the apartment. It actually reminds me of my reality, of what my life should be, which is supposed to be a good thing. But then again, I don't want to be back just yet.

The driver must have crossed at least 7 red lights, not even stepping slightly on the breaks. Yes, I counted it since we were in Kamuning. He's stepping on the accelerator like there's no tomorrow. It's ecstatic, fun, awesome. I didn't mumble. I just sat there, staring at the blurry glass window as if trying to look for something out of the window. I thought that night must be it. The final escape. My sweetest and greatest escape.

I kept waiting for someone to hit us on either side. A big truck please... fast, blinding, unbearable, lethal.

But then I stepped out of the cab safe, agitated, euphoric and upset. Mixed emotions.

Salamat manong [Thank you, I said to the driver]

It wasn't my night. I am back.

Toink!

I knoe...

I'm such a retard!

***

Photo was grabbed from HERE!

Mistaken Identity

Your order sir?

Tall, warm, hazelnut mocha please?

Your name sir?

Dak.

???

As in D-A-K.

DSC00240

Way to go baristas at Starbucks, "The Columns" in Makati.

Quack, quack? Retards!

And puhleez! Your warm coffee felt like it came from your tap water or something... WTF?!

Street of Morato

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Studying with a cup of mint tea. With Solis'. Why not?! Starbucks, Tomas Morato's very popular among "students(?)" who want to primarily study and secondarily to flirt with the crowd.

Many times you will catch a person sitting more often than not alone surrounded by stuff [laptop, huge bag, cellphone/s, ipod, notes, big books, several highlighting markers] catching a glimpse of you. As you catch them staring at you, they pretend sipping their cup of coffee or tea whatsoever, and would look somewhere else as if it wasn't that obvious. Some of them look appealing and charming, but many seems scary and it's like they want to devour you or really trying to seduce. Nevertheless, I don't mind, I was there to study and not to find a one night affair wherein you feel guilty afterwards. But then again, you will consider it especially from a pretty lass on the couch, pretending to be reading her notes, but has some hidden modus.

And there you will realize how adorable and flirtatious some nerds could be. Owell, we're all just the same. It's like a jungle in here, we're animals wanted to be tamed.

I used to hang-out study in there too, not too long ago, but not too recent either. Last night, was like a visit down memory lane. Reminiscing the experience where I used to sit, on my favorite table and chair. The place didn't change that much, and it's still rummaged by a handful of medical students.

Actually it changed, but I've been there already after the major renovation. My point is, it didn't change that much after the major renovation. ROFL. It's just funny how they put up this coffee store, furnished it to a comfortable study place located in a strip of clubs, bars and restos.

Oh and I remember, there's this group of people who religiously go there before. It's a noisy group of law students I believe. They sit, not in group, but individually far apart from each other. Then after some time, one of them would debate against another from across the room! I know right? It's crazy.

It was all from the past. It felt good. It was alright.

I am a Groundbreaking Thinker

Groundbreaking Thinkers are charming, enthusiastic persons. They really bubble over with energy and like to take centre stage. They love variety both professionally and privately. Groundbreaking Thinkers tackle changes consistently with their optimism and firm belief in their own abilities; they are always on the look-out for improvement possibilities. Their excellent communication skills are of great advantage to them here. They approach the world with curiosity and openness and master new situations with a great deal of talent for improvising and with resourcefulness. Their spare time is taken up with a large number of hobbies; most Groundbreaking Thinkers like to travel in order to gather as many different impressions as possible. This personality type is unbeatable at discovering new possibilities.

Groundbreaking ThinkerIn their work, Groundbreaking Thinkers highly rate challenges and diversified tasks. They cannot stand routine and too detailed work. They love to astound others with bold ideas for an original, new project and then leave it up to the others to implement them. Hierarchies, rules and regulations arouse their opposition and they love outsmarting the system. It is vital to them that they enjoy their work; if this is the case, they quickly become pure workaholics. Their creativity best takes effect when they work independently; but they are very good at motivating others and infecting them with their optimistic nature. Conceptual or advisory activities appeal especially to Groundbreaking Thinkers. It can happen that some people feel somewhat duped by their flexible, spontaneous nature.

Their sociability and enterprise ensure that Groundbreaking Thinkers always have a large circle of friends and acquaintances in which activity plays an important role. As they are mostly in a good mood, they are popular and very welcome guests. Grumbling and peevishness are unknown to them. However, they do tend to be a little erratic and unstable when it comes to obligations and this makes them appear to be unreliable to some. Groundbreaking Thinkers are very critical and demanding when it comes to picking a partner because they look for the ideal relationship and have a very concrete picture of this ideal relationship. Mutual aims in life are very important to them. They do not like compromising and would rather remain alone. For the partner, it is often a challenge to have a long-term relationship with a Groundbreaking Thinker. Groundbreaking Thinkers need a lot of space and diversity or otherwise they become bored and feel cramped. Types who are rather more traditionalistic often have problems with the willingness of Groundbreaking Thinkers to take risks and their often crazy, spontaneous actions. However, if one can summon up sufficient flexibility and tolerance for them, one will never be bored in their presence and will always have a loyal and faithful partner.

Check your personality at Ipersonic[dot]com.

I can't run, but I can hide?

I can't remember the last time I smoked since last night. Yes, I was too drunk to say no, and I felt that I needed it.

Oh now I knoe! I remember. The last time before last night was when I was also drunk in the streets of Cleveland. In downtown, particularly at BarFlyy. Gawd, I miss that club! Woot woot!

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Cousins and friends @ BarFlyy, downtown Cleveland. Drinking and smoking can really help you get warm and comfortable coz it's freezing.

Three floors of pure fun fun fun! Diverse cultures, friendly bouncers, nice mixes, feel good music~ and not to mention some adulterated fun. No wonder it's always full of people, even in their verandas in a freezing night.

So, why did I smoke again? I dunno, it just happened.

Probably, maybe and uhmmm... Apparently I am trying to run away from reality. Which I cannot.

Last night, I felt hopeless leaving the apartment due to the heavy rain. The water was deep, waves almost reaching the garage of the apartment. We barely see the road, it's covered by stinky, cocoa-colored water. But it didn't stop me and my friend into going to the party. Because I really wanted to get trashed!

IMG-1968
Along Laong Laan road of hopeless Manila. Poor UST students, they don't deserve to swim in this pool of leptospira.

Yes, I was really planning to get drunk and wasted. I wanted to horrify the party goers. I used to be like that when I was still in my teen years; years of being capable of doing anything inconstant, and I miss the way I was. Well, I was at the party, it paved way. Cos fortunately the rain got tired and we found a cab who's brave enough to swim.

Unexpectedly, I wasn't only drinking, instead I was gulping, left and right with Strong Ice and Cuervo! And that bar oh gawd, smoke's everywhere it made my eyes red, so I took the chance to not just horrify but also to please the crowd. So there, I almost got drunk. Almost.

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SM Strong Ice, Cuervo and Calamari... I miss their company...

I thought I would be dragged home by my friends last night. I wasn't expecting them to take me home comatosed either.  But guess what? I was awake until the time I was back to the apartment that's still drenched by the recent shower, I even knoe what key to put in the hole, and was still competent enough to climb the stairs, switch the A/C on and sleep.

It was a great night. A respite from reality.

***

BTW, is Gossip Girl a blogger? Cos I think she is.  She has a website right? If yes then it's way to go! Well, I got curious and started watching the show. I think it's fun to watch, very classic!

Constant State of Going Nowhere...

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That's me right thur! Resting my ass off. I am tired... of living this same old sh*t. I want to go away, take a flight like a thief in the night, go to another place where nothing ever seems to matter.

Exam week's almost over and I seriously sucked. It seems like I don't care anymore about the exams. I love this life but it feels so pointless and unrewarding. Yet?

Can this even be real? Or I am just going through some unknown process?

Am I just hiding? Sneaking around? Lying?

Can I take leaving everything behind?

Unknowing and taking the chance
Why not fly?
Why not try?
This constant game I play to stay high
But all is just a state of mind
All is reality of your choice
Constant evolution
Constant adaptation
The constant state of going nowhere.

an excerpt from the poem
The Constant State of Going Nowhere
AK (May 7, 2003)

***

BTW, I already finished DC, and I would like to correct what I stated that Jen Lindley has cervical cancer. I thought she has but the cause of her death was actually left sided heart failure.

Funny, Sarcastic but Sensible

My eyes were droopy as he discussed something on the board about statistics. It was our last meeting with him. I was trying to listen but sleeping at 3 o'clock that morning just to finish reading all the dermatology topics for the finals and waking up at 6 in order to take that 7 AM, 2-hour exam got me a little obtunded.

The dermatology exam was too easy, I should have not studied that much. I bet everyone got higher than 90 percent in that final exam. And the surgery quiz which I consider hard but tolerable was unexceptional and another of those based on sample exams.

I personally cursed him during our first encounter. Who wouldn't anyway? Let me tell you the story about how it all started.

First impression lasts as they say. Yes, I thought he was that easy, gentle and very friendly doctor-professor. He got me with all his jokes and funny remarks during the orientation day. My nerve at that time was very sure that our surgery small group discussions would be a breeze for the whole shift.

Reporting a case and 2 journals in his class was assumed to be easy to go through but no! I was wrong; we were wrong. I was shocked when he started yelling at me just as I started with my first few lines of the report.

As we were the first group to present a case in the class, I was in total shock. I was like:

What the hell is wrong with you?

We didn't expect him to be that harsh to students.

Yelling was followed by irritating and unprofessional comments you wouldn't want to hear or know. If I have a choice at that time to either stay there or just run away, I would definitely just walk out of the class, but... that would be very rude.

I started hating him when he then debunked my clinical impression as well as my primary differential diagnosis of the case. Although I made it thru his demeaning and insensitive remarks after ingenuously but sensibly justifying my opinion, I still think he's such an ass. Well, he's an expert in anal and rectal surgery you knoe.

So, let's call him Doctor Ass.

He's really very cruel, as in pain in the ass! I swear! Not to mention insensitive! We were tortured one by one as if we were the lowest creatures on earth. Even the lowest creatures I believe doesn't deserve what we went through.

I could have tolerated it if he was only criticizing my report, but he likewise degraded our dignities. Owkay, I am over reacting but it's true. I felt somewhat degraded at some point.

I almost cursed him to death not until lately, he's some kind of let us appreciate him... unconsciously.

He's not as bad as what I have pointed out. He's sarcastic but yeah... sensible. Probably his main concern is to really teach us what are the important, practical and reasonable.

His terrorizing remarks is just his front. Coz he's still jolly and cheerful after all. He just wants us to be scared of him to function well. Do you know what I mean? I also think that he did it on purpose to get our attention, for us to respect him as our professor and to remind us that yes he's knowledgeable and we are not, that's why he's there to teach us what we should and must know.

His way of teaching is unusual. And by the usual it means the what we knoe styles by some of our favorite professors; there's being so kind and helpful and SYMPATHETIC.

His was different. There goes the hating then you get desensitized as time goes by, until we finally realize his main point.

It's just sad that upon finally knowing his motives, after saying his final addendum. I just came to appreciate his kindness...

and sensitivity for that matter. [even just a little]

I suck right? I know cos I am so slow...

Cheers to Doctor Ass!

***But I still cannot forgive him for his unprofessional and offensive remarks. That's really way beyond the line. And he should thank me for giving him a space in my blog. Hehehe...

Home sweet home

My schedule for this week is technically sloppy. It's exam week but unlike the usual school days wherein I should be in school at 7AM sharp and back at the apartment by 4 or 5PM, this exam week usually just take me about 2-4 hours stay in school.

Look, today I was in school for only 2 hours for the Radiology Exam. Tomorrow, my exam will start at 2PM, Thursday exams will start at 7AM until 12(?) and on Friday it's 8-10AM.

So I decided to you knoe, to take a break from my usual school-apartment routine and just go home everyday after classes for a week. And by that it means my home here in Quezon City.

I miss it actually especially the availability and accessibility of my needs. Like for example... this

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I just got home and the helper prepared some snacks. Love this life!

Woot woot!

My impulsive mouth

Had a conversation with my aunt over the phone.

9:30AM

Aunt: James, we are here at the NSO (National Statistics Office). Can we stay there until 12NN because our papers will be released by 12.
Me: Sure.
Aunt: Is uncle around?
Me: Nope, he went to pick up Keith from school. He's sick. It's just me and the helper.
Aunt: Ahm, are you going to leave the house later?
Me: No, I don't have classes today and I need to study.
Aunt: Ok, so we'll be there in a while.
Me: Ahm ok. So, are you guys going to eat lunch here?
Aunt: [in a shy tone of voice] Ahm no, it's ok. Don't worry about it.

Was I being impolite?

Babysitter for a day

I just got home from Trinoma Mall, watched You Don't Mess with the Zohan.

The original plan was to watch it last night with my brother but since he was too lazy to change clothes, it didn't work out. Even if I convinced him for hours.

While eating lunch today, Granny asked me if I can bring my 2 little (?) cousins out after lunch. They were done with their exams last week so, probably as a treat,

...go watch a movie.

I said

Sure! Why not?!

Actually. I should have said no. I'm nearing my exams, there's no way I am watching a movie on Sunday! But what the hell, I am still not in the mood to study!

That's me. I have a mood-dependent study habit. If I don't feel like studying, then I don't.

Okay, since I cannot handle those brats all by myself, I asked my brother to come with us. I told Granny that I still don't have classes until Tuesday, maybe... that's the reason why he asked me to bring those kids out today.

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(R-L) Keith, the Author and Amiel. Look how big Keith is! His shirt's bigger than mine. ROFL.

Gateway mall was the first choice although the movie starts there at 1:30PM and we don't want to be rushing just to get there on time. So we resorted to Trinoma. Traffic wasn't heavy although parking was  hard to find. We passed by two parking gates that say

Full Parking.

Tsk tsk tsk...

So we ended up parked outside but not at the outskirt of the mall. It wasn't that bad after all because a covered bridge connects the parking lot to the mall. Cool huh?

The weather was hot, but tolerable. People were everywhere. Queues in the ticket booths were long. There were countless of people just hanging around, making free use of the A/C provided by the mall.

I didn't like the movie. It's funny but it's too graphic to be funny. Do you knoe what I mean? I dunno, maybe I was expecting it to be really very funny, but it didn't tickle me that much. Mariah Carey's appearance wasn't even exceptional.

After the movie the boys kept on asking me what's hummus. Because in the movie, hummus was apparently abused.

I was supposed to bring them at Mister Kebab and have them try and taste it but they refused after I said

It's like peanut butter but not peanuty neither buttery. It tastes like a mud or sumthing. Not that I already tasted a mud. It's some sort of like that. It's good with pita bread though.

Since they rejected my offer, we then started looking for a place to eat. Trinoma's too big and houses too many restos that they can't pick a place to eat! In other words, I chose where we ate.

I was craving for the Burger King's iced coffee so we ended up eating in BK. Sadly, the iced coffee was not available in that particular branch!

Puhleez!

So there, I became their nanny for a day. Not that I don't like it, it actually felt like being a dad for a day. The feeling makes me want to have kids already (or just a kid for now). It's tiring but when you see them enjoy, it's awesome! Also, I noticed that these kids are growing up fast e?

Oh, it reminds me that I'm getting old... ROFL!

Okay, that's for today.

Oh wait, no. I am uploading some lecture pics. And it's taking a while for there's a lot! Am I trying to be generous? Probably. Well, I am really generous. Hehehe. They think the lecture slides would be of great help, I hope so... too!

Tonight, I am going to try reading some notes. If it doesn't work, there's always tomorrow. Right?

Gawd...

Done!

G'nyt earthlings!

This is sooo good!

Just as I opened my YM,

friend : oisssttt
jadmalala : elow
friend : sup?
jadmalala : im good
friend : gimik?
jadmalala : had last night
friend : really?
friend : where at?
jadmalala : dampa
friend : ahh
friend : gimik ba un?
friend : hehehe
jadmalala : any fun activity i consider it gimik

Skeez!

That "friend" is currently so out of my league.

I am so irritated.

I am not buying it now...

But no matter what you do, it's not going to happen.

Dedicated: Lesson Learned

Lately, a lot of people I knoe underwent into uhm terrible romantic breakups. John Mayer said

It's alright.

But many of them as of now, is not "yet" alright.

Compare it to a freshly bleeding and gaping wound. It surely is not alright.

It needs patching, suturing, care and to prevent complications.

Then it heals, strong enough to love again...

So sooner or later though you will realize it's alright.

But I understand, it takes time, some even years. Then you can consider it as a lesson learned.

This song is dedicated to all the broken-hearted individuals in the world!

Lesson Learned
(Alicia Keys featuring John Mayer)

He broke
My heart
And now it’s raining
Just don’t rub it in
I’m at
Your door
I feel so crazy bout it
You’ll say I told you so
You saw it long ago
You knew he had to go
I finally came around
I’m back on solid ground
Can’t let it get me down
It’s Alright
It’s Alright
It’s Alright

Yes, I was burned but I call it a lesson learned
Mistake overturned but I call it a lesson learned
My soul has returned so I call it lesson learned
Another lesson learned

Sometimes
Some lies
Can take a minute
To fully realize
His tears
Your eyes
Thirty seconds
To apologize
You give him one more chance
Just like the time before
But he already knows
You’d give a hundred more
Until that night in bed
You wake up in a sweat
You’re racing to the door
Can’t take it anymore

I was burned but I call it a lesson learned
Mistake overturned so I call it a lesson learned
My soul has returned so I call it lesson learned
Another lesson learned

A Life perfect ain’t perfect if you don’t know what the struggle’s for
Falling down ain’t falling down if you don’t cry when you hit the floor
It’s call the past cause I’m getting past and I ain’t nothing like I was before
You oughta see me now

Yes, I was burned but I call it a lesson learned
Mistake overturned but I call it a lesson learned
My soul has returned so I call it lesson learned
Another lesson learned

***

Sometimes, people don't understand me. They say I have no emotions, I don't allow myself to love.

I am not that cynical. I am just practical. And I am happy with that.

Gynecology 101

Recognize when patients may be seeking empathy and validation of their feelings rather than a solution. Sometimes, all that is necessary is to be there as a compassionate human being.

I read the above quoted line in Novak's Gynecology in the chapter that tackles about the initial assessment and communication with patients.

When I read it, I paused for a moment and thought the book's right.

It's so true, not only in Gyne patients but to everyone. There are moments when problems aren't supposed to be discussed. Sometimes, a friend and muted orifices are enough companions for a very depressing moment in one's life.

When I am depressed, words of encouragement to make me feel okay are sometimes too irritating to hear, because apparently I am not really ok.

Isn't it more often insulting to hear

It's ok... Don't worry...

because in actuality it's not?!

It's like someone greets you a happy birthday but you're not actually happy or it's not really your birthday. Lame...

Anxiety usually results from an unrecognized feeling and is really not due to a problem.

Sometimes, when I am sad, all I want is to be heard, to express my inner feelings and thoughts... I am not actually looking for an answer because sometimes there's actually nothing to solve. We sometimes have our own moments, moments when we feel crazy and pathetic. So all I want is someone who will listen and understand what I am feeling.

Just be there, to listen if I talk. Don't mumble anything.

Just stay...

So, would you mind staying?

Proud?

What does it mean when people say:

I am proud to be a Filipino!

???

Is it really something we should be proud about? I mean it came right through my thoughts as well. I had this good conversation with my cousin way back in the US. We were conversing about weird and offbeat topics like questioning the existence of God, the irony of playing a sport but not really enjoying it, and some more random and unconventional topics. One of our topics is this, being proud of your native root or whatever you call it, nationality.

Did we choose to be born as Filipinos?

No.

So if not, and I was born in Japan, then should I be proud being a Japanese?

So just being born as a Filipino, I can say I am proud to be a Filipino?

Being proud is feeling pride or satisfaction in one's own achievements.

What is this achievement then?

What did we do as an individual that we should be proud of?

Manny Pacquiao is probably proud of himself but being proud as a Filipino?

Owell, your opinions are very welcome...

Nobody not really

Who really cares?
Who really cares when I talk?
What I feel?
What I say?
Nobody not really
Who wants to take, the time to find a stand?
I would like someone to heal me with some empathy
That I can't find
Nobody not really
Maybe I'm invisible to the world
Is there anyone in the world even think of me
As more than just a hopeless cause
Maybe the world is not my block
My stoop
My life
My dreams
My anything, anything
Who wants to help?
Oh but I am so tired
Powerful, but you're not here
I'm alone in a big empty space with
Nobody not really

Nobody Not Really (edited)
AK

Capeside Story

Bored of Meredith? Can't relate to their medical dramas in the OR? Tired of watching them have sex in stock rooms, e?

Then drop it.

I did.

I am almost done with DC (Dawson's Creek). I know I am such an emo. I watch it and I love it.

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I have this sensitive side of me sometimes, you can call me histrionic now.

When I was in HS, I watch DC, not as religiously as watching every episode of it but only if I remember its TV schedule. As a growing teenager, I learned a lot from it, at least in the episodes I watched. I don't care how people and critics would rail against it, because there's something behind those skeezy scripts that would tell its viewers something good, something about how great life can be.

I remember how it was labeled as "promoting to teenagers to sleep and have sex with their friends".

Yes, sleeping happens in a lot of the scenes but it's not the whole point of the story. We see there how this group of growing individuals face certain "common" problems and solve them maturely. We see them learn, we see them transcend from certain naive individuals to sophistication.

These "common" problems we also encountered during our teenage years and even up to now are still the problems our younger generations encounter.

They show and experienced relationship, sex, family, drugs, school and identity problems. Even medical problems which affects us in our daily activities. You can find these all in the series.

Since it was an old (not too old) TV series, it's really hard to get copies of all the episodes, not even in the world of free Internet unless you buy them online and have them shipped in front of your door.

Some years back, I had the chance to have the first 3 seasons. When I went to the US, I bought the last 3 seasons and the special last season finale. It's expensive but luckily I found some used but still in good quality DVD copies.

Now I am on its last season. It's really a cool experience. It's like walking with these bunch of teenagers going through their lives and being a part of them. I got to know each character's personality and uniqueness, their diversity of thoughts and personality and how these diversities make them intact and close to each other despite all the chaos they encounter.

I am very excited however to see the final episode. I saw it on TV before and it made me cry. I am not really a maudlin when it comes to melodrama series but it really broke my heart, Jen Lindley broke my heart.

Jen Lindley actually died, if you don't know it yet. She has cervical malignancy. She chose to bear her baby and let Jack her bestfriend adopt her kid. Before she died, she left a message to her child via Dawson's video camera. The message is very short but outstanding. For me, it would actually summarize the whole story, she summarized what we should have learned from watching DC. Here's the message:

Hi, Amy, it's mom. Well, by the time you see this, I won't be here anymore, and I know how much that sucks, for both of us. So seeing as how I won't be around to thoroughly annoy you, I thought I would give you a little list of the things that I wish for you. Well, there's the obvious. An education. Family. Friends. And a life that is full of the unexpected. Be sure to make mistakes. Make a lot of them, because there's no better way to learn and to grow, all right? And, um, I want you to spend a lot of time at the ocean, because the ocean forces you to dream, and I insist that you, my girl, be a dreamer. God. I've never really believed in God. In fact, I've spent a lot of time and energy trying to disprove that god exists. But I hope that you are able to believe in god, because the thing that I've come to realize, sweetheart... is that it just doesn't matter if god exists or not. The important thing is for you to believe in something, because I promise you that that belief will keep you warm at night, and I want you to feel safe always. And then there's love. I want you to love to the tips of your fingers, and when you find that love, wherever you find it, whoever you choose, don't run away from it. But you don't have to chase after it either. You just be patient, and it'll come to you, I promise, and when you least expect it, like you, like spending the best year of my life with the sweetest and the smartest and the most beautiful baby girl in the world. You don't be afraid, sweetheart. And remember, to love is to live.

-Jen's Goodbye Speech

Dawson's Creek Season 6 Finale, Must come to an end (2003)

Oh I was able to get a clip of the above scene via the famous YouTube. Here it is:

So, there I let out one of my biggest secrets. I watch Dawson's Creek. So what? I can watch it over and over again. I was surprised that a lot of people actually watch and love it too, I was surprised, and I would like to recommend it to you if you haven't.

These teenagers aren't bored with their lives, they are reflections of our lives.

***

Picture was taken from TV.com

Video was taken from Brumland83