Realize…

It’s been a long time since I posted a song in my blog.

Here’s what I’ve been hearing and singing for like days already. It’s an old song but… I think it’s kinda appropriate for my current state of being. LOL. Enjoy!

Click click click!


Realize by John Nathaniel

Take time to realize,
That your warmth is
Crashing down on in.
Take time to realize,
That I am on your side
Didn't I, Didn't I tell you.
But I can't spell it out for you,
No it's never gonna be that simple
No I cant spell it out for you

If you just realize what I just realized,
Then we'd be perfect for each other
and will never find another
Just realized what I just realized
we'd never have to wonder if
we missed out on each other now.

Take time to realize
Oh-oh I'm on your side
didn't I, didn't I tell you.
Take time to realize
This all can pass you by
Didn't I tell you
But I can't spell it out for you,
no it's never gonna be that simple
no I can't spell it out for you.

If you just realized what I just realized
then we'd be perfect for each other
then we'd never find another
Just realized what I just realized
we'd never have to wonder if
we missed out on each other now.

It's not always the same
no it's never the same
if you don't feel it too.
If you meet me half way
If you would meet me half way.
It could be the same for you.

If you just realize what I just realized
then we'd be perfect for each other
then we'd never find another
Just realize what I just realized
we'd never have to wonder
Just realize what I just realized
If you just realize what I just realized
OoOoOOo
missed out on each other now
missed out on each other now
Realize, realize
realize, realize

Shopping

Not the usual shopping that we knoe; not the one that we enjoy excessively makes Henry Sy just can’t stop building malls.

The last time I was on duty, I experienced shopping… for medical supplies that is… in other service wards. Cos a patient cannot afford the things she need for her operation.

She cannot provide a blood reservation for herself, can’t have herself tested for her clotting and bleeding parameters, and she can’t even buy a macroset which is an infusion set for her IV fluids. To be totally honest? I felt like am such a good person not to mention a very hospitable medical clerk that i had to go to the other hospital, visit every ward and beg for medical supplies.

Owell, it was a very remarkable experience. I honestly have mixed feelings.

First, I felt sad for the patient cos she can’t afford the medical supplies for her treatment. Well, that’s supposed to be the reason why she is in the charity or clinical division of the UST hospital, right? However, even if it’s a charity hospital, the only free thing a patient can get is the service from the doctors, the so called PF or professional fee, and she still has to pay for a little lesser than usual the medical supplies and other hospital expenses.

What irate me is the fact that her case is not an emergency case. She admitted herself for an elective surgery and I suppose she had prepared for the possible expenses before she let herself be admitted. We always tell our patients the amount of money they should prepare for an elective surgery so, lack of monetary fund is not really an excuse.

I can understand if it was an emergency case, but an elective surgery? I don’t think so.

When I was in obstetrics, we always hear patients and their husbands giving us an excuse why they cannot afford to be admitted, or a lab test, or a particular drug for example. Pregnancy is a 9-month process. It is not supposed to be an emergency case once the patient experienced signs and symptoms of labor and immediately rushed to the hospital. They should have prepared in 9 months the money that they will need for hospitalization. Really.

So apparently, a lot of Filipinos don’t prioritize health in their basic needs. We encounter a lot of charity patients tell us that they cannot afford “this” and “that” medical or surgical treatment but we see them and all their relatives, each having a better-than-mine cellular phones. Did you get the point?

Gawd!

CC: Progressive dysmenorrhea

To be totally honest? I think this is one of the happiest hospital stay in my life. Would you believe that a charity patient treated me to Jollibee right after she was discharged? Exactly.

I was like,

Naku po… Nakakahiya naman po. Sana tinago ninyo na lang po yung pera. Nag-abala pa po kayo.

Then she said,

E diba promise ko sayo, i-tretreat kita pagkatapos ng aking operasyon? Natutuwa kasi ako sayo, ang bait-bait mo. Naiingit nga yung ibang pasyente sana daw pasyente mo din sila.

I was so touched. Really. I don't even knoe I am that kind to be treated to Jollibee. All I knoe is that I am taking good care of her. That’s all!

Actually, the first time we met, I already knew patient IA and I will be spending a happy time in gynecology together. Seriously. She was endorsed to me right before I officially moved in to gynecology department. I can still remember that very first day, Friday, in the out patient department, she was scheduled to be admitted for a total abdominal hysterectomy due to intractable dysmenorrhea, excessive menstruation and an enlarging uterus caused by adenomyosis.

She’s so cooperative… She’s such an easy patient. Taking her medical history is such an easy one cos she is so chatty and fun. In gynecology, we are very particular about asking the patient’s sexual history like the first time they had had sex and how many sexual partners they had. IA is very straight to the point when I asked her about these sensitive stuff, she answered them all without any ado and hesitations, and sometimes even jokes about it. Would you believe that her obstetric score is G7P7? Meaning, she had 7 pregnancies and 7 deliveries, so she has 7 children.

I was like,

Naku, dami mo nang anak hah. Gusto mo pa ba magka-anak? Kayo talaga! Active pa ba kayo?

The lanky 42-year old patient replied,

Oo naman! Life begins at 40!

Wow! C’mon! She’s uber fun! She’s always smiling and laughing, I swear she’s the funniest patient I had so far.

But I knew behind all the jokes and smiles and laughter, she’s sooo scared of the operation. She never had any surgeries. All her pregnancies were delivered via NSD. She wanted her current surgery to be her last.

Hindi ba pwedeng tanggalin ninyo na din ang aking mga obaryo? Baka kasi ma-operahan nanaman ako dahil sa obaryo.

I replied,

Mommy, wala naman po kasing indikasyon para alisin ang obaryo ninyo… at hindi pa po kayo menopause, gusto ninyo po bang mag-menopause na? May silbi pa po ang mga obaryo ninyo e.

DSC05427 
This is the only picture I have with IA. Apparently, she’s under those drapes. With Drs Galang, Chu and Masangcay before the hysterectomy.

Before I left the wards today, I was handed with 2 bags of Jollibee. I approached her and shyly thanked her, she thanked me as well for taking good care of her while in the hospital then laughed hard and said,

Aray!

I said,

Mommy, huwag ka kasi tatawa, masakit pa yang sugat ninyo diba?

The CI and the BS.

Today, a nursing student (let’s call him BS as in you knoe what I mean) annoyed and insulted me! As in!!! His CI (as in clinical instructor) confronted me and accused me of telling BS that the patient we were keeping under observation was complaining about incessantly monitoring her BP. All the accusations were totally wrong! In so many aspects. Why?

First of all, we usually don’t talk to nursing students especially those who came from other schools. I personally just don’t like them. They aren’t friendly, they don’t smile, and they don’t greet doctors like us more so the residents and consultants. So apparently, they’re sleazy… and boring… and sad. Sorry for the inapt use of words, but I think for nao, it’s just appropriate.

Anyway, a while ago, I approached BS who is just wandering around the ward doing nothing and asked him who among them is assigned in monitoring my patient. I told him that I missed to measure my patient’s urine output because I just had my practical exam and then when I checked it a few minutes past the time when I should have checked the urine volume, the catheter bag is already empty assuming that someone already measured and drained it.

Anyway, my patient is not in serious threat or danger but her urine output during that time is becoming low and a little questionable.

BS told me that the nursing student assigned to my patient is not currently around so I instead requested him to tell his classmate who is assigned to my patient to inform me if he was the one who measured and drained the patient’s urine. Then I saw that they were as well measuring the patient’s vital signs like the blood pressure (BP), temperature and et cetera. Since my 2 previous hours of monitoring, my patient is always busy nursing her baby, so I asked him if the vital signs were stable. Then I mentioned

Kung naunahan ninyo ako na kuhanan ang patient ng vitals, pwede bang kunin ko na lang yung nakuha ninyo kasi “baka” magreklamo yung patient na minsan dalawa o tatlo kada oras sya minomonitor ng iba’t ibang tao. Tapos bigay ko na din sa iyo yung nakuha ko pag nauna naman ako.

He agreed. And so I returned to the clerk’s room.

After a few minutes, BS’s CI stormily entered our turf and asked me if the patient was really complaining about being monitored several times in an hour. Because according to her, she never received any complaint from the patient that she was being monitored a hundred million times. The tone of her voice was kind of insulting and strong. It seems to me that she’s accusing me of telling them something which is not true, which in real case, is the other way around. I was like…

No? What are you talking about?! Did I say she was complaining?

Of course that didn’t come out of my mouth.

Hah? Hindi po nagcocomplain ang patient. Ang real query ko po ay yung sa urine output ng patient. Tapos nakita ko po na nagmomonitor din ang mga nursing students ng vitals ng patient e sinabi ko po na pag nakuhanan na ng kahit sino sa amin, e wag na po ulitin kasi “baka” magcomplain yung patient…

Then she said some more things almost yelling and repeatedly saying that the patient is not complaining being monitored, blah blah blahs…

And if so the patient complains of being monitored several times in just a span of an hour, I would definitely understand the patient. The patient just gave birth, still in pain and needs to rest and relax. How can she probably rest when she’s being monitored several times in an hour, right?

But the patient as I have said is not complaining!

It’s in what we as clerks’ things to do that if the patient has been subsequently stable for the previous monitorings and in for example the patient during the next monitoring is sleeping, eating or breastfeeding, then as compassionate individuals we don’t interrupt, instead just take the patient’s vital signs upon waking up, after eating, or after breastfeeding. I don’t think they kind of get my point.

They should have understood me at that point for they are nurses. Nurses are supposed to take good care and look after the patients. They should make them comfortable and make their hospital stay as contented as possible.

In my understanding, patients in the hospital are sick or are in the hospital due to some sort of medical procedures or problems. And hospital stays aren’t supposed to be that hassling and uncomfortable. As much as possible even in teaching hospitals such as in UST-CD, patients shouldn’t be monitored (vitals signs) every hour by 3 different healthcare professionals which in our case, we the medical clerks, the nurses and these “nursing students”.

I suppose that even if only one of us took the vital signs of the patient in that particular time of monitoring, the management and care would be just the same. It will definitely give us only one and the same result, right?

What made me so irate is the fact that the nursing student whom I asked so dearly and politely, told his CI about my query with such wrong information. I don’t kind of get why he didn’t even get my point. It was so pointed out clearly. A co-clerk even have heard me asking the favor to BS for I think she was intrigued why I was even talking to him in the first place and yet he made things so complicated. I was being accused of making up stories that the patient was complaining, yet is actually not.

Woah!

Not my day. I swear. I nao hate those batches of nursing students and their CI. I don’t even knoe which school they are from. I dowana label them as sleazy but I swear, I was offended and petrified. The CI should have asked first what really happened, and not immediately confronted and accused me in front of the medical staff the things I didn’t do. It was so wrong.

I hope nurses and especially future nurses who read this will get my point.

Oh, I still love cool nurses tho. BTW, our nurses in the OB ward are sooo cool and kind.

Buti na lang!

4 days to go

A month in the UST-Obstetrics felt really fast. We only have 4 days to go before our group leave the lively, lochia-tic and hectic ward of UST-OB; then we will be assigned into another department which in my case is still vajayjay-related, the UST-Gynecology department. First half of our group where I apparently belong to will go to the UST-Gynecology dept for the next 2 weeks while the second half will be transferred to the so-called factory of babies, the Fabella hospital, also for 2 weeks. Then later on, after 2 weeks, Fabella here I come!

In OB, we basically deal with anything pregnancy-related. We were taught how to deal and take good care of pregnant patients from the moment they had their first pregnancy check-up up until they give birth and then recover from the miraculous 9 months of being gravid.

The tension is always there, keeping always in mind that we are not only dealing with a single patient, but 2 patients; the mother and the baby she treasures inside her womb.

The OB out-patient department taught us how to struggle to bring the fetus to term and to make the fetus viable to live in the future. As early as during the first trimester, we make sure the baby is in good condition and we keep the baby safe from any insults such as infections and the harm the mother may bring to the baby through certain medical conditions.

ust obstetrics
taken at the UST OB-out patient department

In our duties, AM or PM, we deal with patients who are in labor and ready to bring the fetus out into the real world. Here, we witness the pain the mother has to go through the labor process. So, we basically give our ultimate care and understanding to these patients the best way we can. Here I learned how to do normal spontaneous deliveries (NSD), cesarean sections (CS) and make use of certain instruments such as forceps and vacuums to facilitate the delivery of the baby.

Of course in our department everything is pregnancy-related. Although rare, we encounter cases of spontaneous abortions wherein we just cannot do anything for the mother but be sympathetic, teenage-pregnancies as young as 14, and premature labor which we sometimes fail to admit cos they cannot afford an incubator. Sometimes graver cases such as planned or induced abortion are also brought into our institution, but we don’t tolerate this kind of act, however the patient is sometimes already in serious and dreaded condition so we cannot just help but admit the patient to save and keep her away from death.

When we do our ward works, we basically monitor mothers who just gave birth to make sure they fully recover from which most of the time a long birthing process. We keep them safe and shy them away from the most common complication which is bleeding. In the wards, we see unconditional love between a mother and her child; breastfeeding even in the dreaded time of the night, light pat when the baby spontaneously wake up and shriek, and sometimes sweet lullabies for a good night sleep.

Obstetrics can be very intoxicating but in every duty we have, we see miracles happen. We hear heart tones in the mother’s belly, we feel fetal movements, we see crowning of the head in the birth canal, and most importantly we witness inexplicable births of innocent lives. Kudos to all obstetricians!

Tengga

It’s a shame that the word Tengga used to be so foreign to me, the fact that I’ve been speaking and using Tagalog to converse daily in almost 100% of my life. Although I am not a native Tagalog, still… And to be totally honest? I think there are still a lot of these weird, rarely-been-used Tagalog words that I really don’t knoe. So btw, Tengga is a Tagalog word which means “wasting time”. Owell, just so people who’s still ignorant to this word would knoe. I got its real “deep sense” of meaning from a friend who is a native Tagalog (Dudette, thanks for enlightening me! LOL. Enjoy your vacation leave, aryt?).

So, I am totally in a Tengga mode right nao. It’s ironic cos when I am on duty, people would always call and invite me to go out to hangout or party. Nao that I am not that busy and still found time to visit my family here in QC, I cannot seem to understand why I can’t find friends to hangout with. Where are these friends?

Hellooooo?! Call me, aryt?

Owell, I dowana label them as once-friends tho cos that would be unfair but to be honest? I nao mostly hangout with hospital people. Residents, interns, co-clerks and even nurses. Just this week, the Surgery department hosted a special screening of Wolverine in Trinoma. A friend who’s rotating in the department invited me to the screening and let me just pay half of the original 300-peso ticket.

Owell, since my sked the following day wasn’t that hectic, I agreed on going. I thought it would be a good idea since it’s been a long time since I got a step into a more decent kind of mall (talking about SM San Lazaro as not so decent mall. LOL). Once there, oh gawd I see the same faces. Of course I wasn’t supposed to be shocked cos it was supposed to be expected and figured out but I just realized that it was surreal and real at the same time. And I can’t do anything about it. It feels like I am in a box of mirror sidewalls wherein every dimension I look into, I see the same things.  An OB resident was there, the terror 2nd year IM resident who eats medical clerks during referrals was also present, co-clerks, residents and more residents from other departments who I see along hallways and wards were there. It felt like the mall is the hospital, and I was doing my rounds. It felt really weird.

My horizon is kind of narrowing nao. And I am not used to it, seeing the same people everyday, just them, even at night. It makes me insane. I miss my friends, really. I miss socializing; not that meeting new patients isn’t socializing. I mean socializing in a cooler and more fun kind way.  All I see nao are patients and medical practitioners only. Boxed. Period. That’s it. Good thing tho, countless of them are friendly and nice and cool; and what makes me feel more excited about going to work everyday are my patients. A lot of my patients appreciate what I do, even after a long and sometimes I think endless day of being tired and not to mention being sleepy; it feels good when they smile back at me and thank me at the end of the day or the following day as I leave the ward after duty.

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Well actually, this is how life should taste, bitter and sweet! All at the same time… We just hafta enjoy it.