It’s a shame that the word Tengga used to be so foreign to me, the fact that I’ve been speaking and using Tagalog to converse daily in almost 100% of my life. Although I am not a native Tagalog, still… And to be totally honest? I think there are still a lot of these weird, rarely-been-used Tagalog words that I really don’t knoe. So btw, Tengga is a Tagalog word which means “wasting time”. Owell, just so people who’s still ignorant to this word would knoe. I got its real “deep sense” of meaning from a friend who is a native Tagalog (Dudette, thanks for enlightening me! LOL. Enjoy your vacation leave, aryt?).
So, I am totally in a Tengga mode right nao. It’s ironic cos when I am on duty, people would always call and invite me to go out to hangout or party. Nao that I am not that busy and still found time to visit my family here in QC, I cannot seem to understand why I can’t find friends to hangout with. Where are these friends?
Hellooooo?! Call me, aryt?
Owell, I dowana label them as once-friends tho cos that would be unfair but to be honest? I nao mostly hangout with hospital people. Residents, interns, co-clerks and even nurses. Just this week, the Surgery department hosted a special screening of Wolverine in Trinoma. A friend who’s rotating in the department invited me to the screening and let me just pay half of the original 300-peso ticket.
Owell, since my sked the following day wasn’t that hectic, I agreed on going. I thought it would be a good idea since it’s been a long time since I got a step into a more decent kind of mall (talking about SM San Lazaro as not so decent mall. LOL). Once there, oh gawd I see the same faces. Of course I wasn’t supposed to be shocked cos it was supposed to be expected and figured out but I just realized that it was surreal and real at the same time. And I can’t do anything about it. It feels like I am in a box of mirror sidewalls wherein every dimension I look into, I see the same things. An OB resident was there, the terror 2nd year IM resident who eats medical clerks during referrals was also present, co-clerks, residents and more residents from other departments who I see along hallways and wards were there. It felt like the mall is the hospital, and I was doing my rounds. It felt really weird.
My horizon is kind of narrowing nao. And I am not used to it, seeing the same people everyday, just them, even at night. It makes me insane. I miss my friends, really. I miss socializing; not that meeting new patients isn’t socializing. I mean socializing in a cooler and more fun kind way. All I see nao are patients and medical practitioners only. Boxed. Period. That’s it. Good thing tho, countless of them are friendly and nice and cool; and what makes me feel more excited about going to work everyday are my patients. A lot of my patients appreciate what I do, even after a long and sometimes I think endless day of being tired and not to mention being sleepy; it feels good when they smile back at me and thank me at the end of the day or the following day as I leave the ward after duty.
Well actually, this is how life should taste, bitter and sweet! All at the same time… We just hafta enjoy it.