Just when I decided to finally get a puppy, something's pulling it back.
I realized that it's a healthy option to take a pup as a pet cos it's a little high-maintenance. Little? Okay, dog pets are meant to be highly maintained.
Did you get my point? I bet not. Cos I think my justification was rubbish and garble.
Howkay. Dogs need special treatments. They need extra time, effort, care and love. I think that being able to take good care of a dog or any pet for that matter means that one is already ready to take good care of another person, handle a relationship well and deal with certain emotional difficulties.
Being compassionate is a characteristic that every physician should posses. Once we are in the ward, we don't just take the patients' HPI and PE and treat their diseases, but we dig deep further into their lives creating this certain patient-doctor relationship which I cannot further elucidate. What complicates the counter-transference more is the fact that in the institution where I currently belong, a lot of these patients are incapable of getting adequate treatments for their ailments due to financial constraints. It is a sad reality. Noh? So money is always an issue.
Everytime I am caught in this situation (financial ranting and on how they cannot afford the treatment), I start to become quiet or I tend to stutter a lot cos I don't knoe what to do, say or simply to react. I feel very incompetent when I face this kind of situation during a patient interview. In other words, I am so bad when it comes to making an emotional patient feel good and comfortable.
That's the reason why I think a dog can help me prepare and enhance my sensitivity and caring capabilities especially to my patients cos doctors don't just treat patients' diseases; doctors should treat patients as a whole.
I had detachment issues before that were disclosed in previous entries in this blog and it made me realize how painful it was to lose someone when we are too much attached. That led me to practice detachment. And as time goes by, slowly I progressed into becoming a stone-hearted person. I care less to people, I became numb.
So technically, it's not all about detachment. It was a wrong choice. I was deeply in pain so I think that the best shot that I can do during those times was to shy away from my emotion to keep me stable and pain-free which is more or less the most practical approach. Although now, I am very much aware that there should be a balance between detachment and attachment. Apparently, extremes ejusdem generis is unhealthy. Too much of attachment can lead to pain while too much of detachment can lead to numbness. And both of which are symptomatology of an underlying disorder.
So nao, I need to transcend. I need a cure. I want my symptom to go away. I dowana be numb. That's why I need a dog.
But the apartment doesn't allow any pets that woof or may cause disturbances among the tenants.
Hmmm... And I dowana get a fish either.
So, what to do? what to do? I dunno... I'll figure it out soon.