2009 has been my entry point to the real world of doctors; Gone are the days of everyday exams. But going through medical clerkship is like chewing on pearls. Hard, may even chip your teeth off but precious.
As they say, we’re the lowest life forms in the hierarchy of doctors. Some, don’t even consider us as doctors, yet. Well it’s relatively true, but I believe that in the 4 years of medical education, we gained sufficient knowledge to treat and take good care of patients even in our slightest and most simple ways. Right? Right.
It’s hard to be a medical clerk. --- ?? Erm… ??? ---- Right. True.
So true, I recall that there were even points in time when I felt like already giving up and that my body wanted to quit on its own; especially in those occasions where I experience sleepless nights of trying to survive or revive patients; of continuous ambubagging, of non-stop hospital errands, episodes of successive code blues and subsequent resuscitations. But those were JUST mere feelings of quitting. It never occurred to me to really quit, leave the hospital and never go back. It never happened cos I was lucky enough to work with the nicest people on earth who believe in me; those who motivated me, encouraged me to be stronger, to persevere harder and to never give up cos giving up doesn’t make it a lot easier either. It doesn’t prove anything greater nor escape me from perceived dilemmas. Cos I am but a doctor.
I also remember how old friends would complain about how hard I became to invite into gatherings, even during the weekends. Our usual free weekends turned into 24-hour hospital duties, and some even up to 36. My life became a boring Cori Cycle (Muscle-Liver-Muscle); Apartment-Hospital-Apartment Cycle. Socialization became an entirely foreign event for me. As I pass by the streets of T. Morato and Timog and visit places like Eastwood or Greenbelt or anywhere else where people would just hang out and do nothing very intelligible, it would always feel so surreal and new. I stopped watching TV, then I never watched TV again (not until today, i think…). I can’t relate to stories of popular TV ads and shows. Thanks to the internet (woo-hoo!) I can somehow update myself from what’s happening around the world.
Did you knoe that the hospital is a place of emotional salad? There has been a lot of emotional fluctuations that had happened not only to patients but also to us. Think about Grey’s Anatomy,
minus the hook-ups e? There were times when we would be happy, sad and mad all at the same time! I knoe, right? Call us crazy but it happens. There were UP-moments like receiving gifts of appreciation from very cool patients and relatives and seeing them go out of the hospital stable and improved. Also, the happiness we gain after an enjoyable ward round with our awesome residents, fellows and even consultants. DOWN-moments as we encounter deaths, permanence of disabilities and just mere palliation to cancer patients. Sometimes worse things happen like being yelled by our not-so-impressive residents during rounds and in front of our patients. Let me add the SIDEWAYS if you knoe what I mean; the misunderstandings with co-clerks and the harder to deal with… the bitchy patients and relatives who would always complain and well, complain and complain. Need I say more? Complain. Urgh!
This year, I witnessed awesomeness of life in general, and I also acted accordingly as a doctor which for me, is very much considered as a medical breakthrough; I watched lives come out and caught babies out from the vajayjay, I assisted to various types of cesarean section, sutured surgical wounds, bore holes into a patient’s skull, held a scalpel and cut off one’s appendix, inserted a Trocar in a laparoscopic cholecystectomy, amputated a rotting leg, zapped a bleeder with a cautery, assisted in microsurgeries, saw an entire length of a patient’s colon, do proper CPRs, encountered rare cases, wore an N95 mask for an entire 30 hours, handled a big group of TB-patients and yellow-people (Leptospirosis outbreak).
Even removal of ingrown toenails still amazes me up until now.
I became an expert on alooot of things; IV insertion, catheter insertion, NGT insertion, arterial blood extraction, ET suctioning, and more.
Medical clerkship can either be a good experience or a nightmare but it is my most eventful part of this year. It’s not yet over but I can now say, this is it, this is the start of my life.
Like I said, medical clerkship is like chewing on pearls; hard, may even chip your teeth off but precious. It taught me how to handle toxicities, multitasking, medical and work ethics, to work under pressure, to be more compassionate, to be more committed, and to become a more competent physician.
So there… That was my 2009. How about yours?
I want to thank God for the slaps and for the blessings, I praise You; to my loving family who’s been very supportive – never failed me; to my witty-spontaneous-and-cool medical friends; to my gorgeous non-medical friends; to all who became my hard-working duty-mates; to all the doctors who taught me and enhanced my knowledge about the art that we knoe, who trusted in me and inspired me in so many ways; to my patients for giving me the chance to learn. Thanks! Really.
And I also want to say sorry for all the inconveniences I made. Those were truly unintentional.
2009 was a tough year! But I say cheers! Thank God! I had fun. It was a blast!
Let’s make 2010 (say twenty-ten) tougher, e? Yay!
Happy New Year Earthlings!
Let’s cross our fingers for our upcoming Oral Revalida! Wish us all luck!