But I call it the one-of-my-super-day-ender bars. LOL.
I capped my night last Tuesday with Jerome who’s been a very good friend of mine since high school. We actually had a long day & decided to meet up after work. I saw patients the entire day & had to catch-up on my readings in the evening; He on the other hand had a 2-10pm shift in the lab. So the plan was to cap it off with a few drinks.
There’s this bar in Kamuning called 77 that I frequent. Visits started when I was still reviewing for the Philippine Medical boards which eventually became a habit to grab one or two drinks per night after studying while still being giddy with all the caffeine running through my veins. The alcohol serves like an antidote.
The place is like an old up&down house circa 70s-80s turned into a very cozy hangout venue popular among crowd of the 20s to early 30s. When alone, I usually go straight to the bar and order a bottle of spirit or a cocktail of kurant & sprite, chitchat with the bartenders and even to perfect strangers and voila, “Have a happy & good night evbud!”. 77 has always been a fun place for me.
Although last Tuesday, t’was a different story cos I was with a friend. We stayed in a sala-set area complete with sofas and a low wooden antique-ish table. Very homey indeed. Fortunately t’was a Tuesday night so the place wasn’t crowded.
We sat comfortably wherein I was literally slouching like twas my home with a pizza, a pitcher of Kurant & Sprite on the table as we began with our usual “How’s it goin’? What’s the 411?” tryin’ to catch up with each other’s lives. Love’s always been a problem of this friend and as we started discussing his love story, its flaws and all those shitnitz, I realized that I am actually having the same dilemma to which I was casually denying and just shrugging it off for the past days or even weeks. I was in denial like it’s not affecting me that kind of sort of thing. So in reality, I was giving the advises to myself as I did a litany of what you should and should not do and this and that and what have yous.
T’was crazy. As I was telling my friend “you became to available & vulnerable kasi…”, it’s like me talking to myself like a non-compliant schizo. I was… yes literally just talking to myself; addressing all my preaching to myself. And in conclusion, I am pathetic and desperate… And maybe lonely too.
I never had a good relationship for the past year/s. The last date I had was a click, my standards… but t’was just so-so, garblish and undeniably fun but really nothing-is-going-on… yet still I got hooked. Call it one-way, unrequited, it’s-just-me-slap-me-wake-up. So yes I became too available then now vulnerable.
One epiphany led to the next. I need to evolve, noh? See? My friends are now getting married, their kids are being baptized… And now my physician friends are already stepping into the next level in their lives that is Residency Training. They are all evolving while I stay on my comfort zone. Is it even a comfort zone until now?
I am stuck in a rut. I knoe I am slowly progressing with my choice of career going through its path that I chose and I have to take but I realized that I don’t need to just transcend with my career… I need to evolve too as a person; as a normal human being with normal physiologic & biologic needs.
And so that night at 77, it made me figure out what’s definitely wrong with me, and that I’ve been ignoring it for quite some time now, and now I’m so sure that I’m gonna change it. Soon. Very soon.
It was aactually an awesome night. After all, nights at 77 always end up nice and good. Cheers! :-)